In order to better understand what others want from you and convey to them what you need, it is important to build a conversation competently. This skill is useful in relationships with friends, and with a partner, and with parents, and especially with colleagues and subordinates. Alex Osterwalder and Stefano Mastrogiacomo, authors of the book "Teamwork Tools", believe that it is difficult to achieve trust between people and a sense of psychological security without such a skill. Therefore, they offer to master it.
Alpina Publisher has published a work in Russian, and Lifehacker publishes an excerpt from the fourth chapter.
The fact locator offers questions to clarify the conversation. These questions give other participants the opportunity to formulate their thoughts more accurately and clearly.
The tool is based on a simple principle: a dialogue based on concrete facts is better than a dialogue based on assumptions. To participate in such a dialogue, preparation is necessary, since we tend to omit or distort information. Distortion is a direct consequence of the three—level process of meaning formation Kourilsky, F. Du désir au plaisir de changer: le coaching du changement / Dunod :
Breaking this order leads us into one (or more) of the five communication traps:
These traps illustrate the difference between what psychologists call first-order reality and second-order reality. The reality of the first order is formed under the influence of the physically perceived — through the five senses — qualities of a thing or situation. Second-order realities include individual interpretations of first-order reality (judgments, hypotheses, assumptions, etc.).
For example, Ann can say "I'm hungry" (communication based on facts, reality of the first order) or complain loudly: "We always eat too late" (value judgment, second—order reality) - and thus show that she is hungry. The second statement causes communication problems and leads to Kourilsky, F. Du désir au plaisir de changer: le coaching du changement / Dunod to conflicts, quarrels and dead ends. This is most clearly manifested during quarrels.
By helping to find out the facts (first-order reality) hidden behind ambiguous statements (second-order reality), the fact locator increases the productivity of the dialogue.
The fact locator helps:
At a local fast food restaurant, Ivan sees a man eating three burgers.
He can express his impressions in substance, in fact. "Yesterday I saw a man who ate three burgers at a local fast food restaurant."
Ivan can also fall into one of these traps when he talks about his impressions.
These questions help to understand the facts and impressions (first-order reality) hidden behind the individual interpretation (second-order reality). This moves the conversation from the gray zone of uncertainty and vagueness to the central zone of concrete facts.
The practical application of the fact locator takes place in two stages:
Questions help clarify the facts.
Do you hear
You ask
— Designers reported that they need more time.
— Could you be more precise?
Questions help to uncover causal relationships.
Do you hear
You ask
— I think if we receive the materials in two days, the whole project will be delayed for two months.
— How can two days lead to a two-month delay?
Questions help to establish the cause or consequences of a belief.
Do you hear
You ask
— I can't, we've never worked like this, it's not typical for us.
— It's clear, but if you try, what happens?
Questions help to identify a contradiction.
Do you hear
You ask
— The risks are high, everyone has lost enthusiasm.
— Everything?
The questions help to identify the evaluation criteria behind the judgment.
Do you hear
— It is important that we first achieve my goals.
— What makes you think that?
"Teamwork Tools" is an ideal desktop book for managers. It will help to create a team whose members will feel comfortable and at the same time achieve high results. On the pages you will find simple and visual instructions that you can immediately try with your team. Although some strategies will be useful to everyone, regardless of profession and position.
