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About Everything Wiki » Sexology » 6 questions to discuss before having sex with a new partner

6 questions to discuss before having sex with a new partner

10 Jun 2023, 12:02, parser
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Sex should be safe and at least comfortable, so it is necessary to discuss important issues before it. Some topics have nothing to do with romance, everything will fall from other conversations altogether, but there are no options — we need to clarify some points before taking off our underpants.

1. Are we going to have sex now?

Well, or formulate the question in some other way, but only to hear an unequivocal "yes" in response. Just so there are no misunderstandings.

2. Do you have a condom with you?

For the first time with a new partner — no hormonal pills, interrupted intercourse, candles and lemon slices. That is, all of this can be used (except lemon), but only in addition to condoms.

Even if the new guy shows the certificate he received yesterday, this is not an option. The same HIV infection has an incubation period of several months, that is, he could have been infected a couple of weeks ago and tests have not detected the virus yet.

You can only trust certificates from regular blood donors who have to be constantly checked for HIV, hepatitis, and syphilis. But a permanent donor, in theory, should insist on a condom with a new partner himself.

By the way, there is also an allergy to latex, so an allergic person should have latex-free protective equipment for such a case.

3. Who goes to the shower first?

When the desire captures, there is no time to think about every shower there. But, hand on heart, it is the first sex with a new partner that sometimes reveals not at all what we would like to know about a person. After all, there is a difference between honest work sweat after a dance party and week-old underpants.

Maybe it's better to take a shower?

4. Is it just sex or something more?

Someone thinks that after sex it is not necessary to get acquainted, and for someone sex automatically means plans for three children and a silver wedding. There are a hundred more gradations between these options.

Let's say one partner perceives sex as a test: whether it's worth continuing the relationship or nothing will work out, because it didn't grow together in bed. The other partner thinks that sex happens only when something has already grown together, that is, the couple is together and for a long time.

If after sex it turns out that the partners evaluate the event differently, then the pleasure will be forgotten, and the troubles will remain.

5. What are we going to do?

Well, at least approximately decide what you will do. At least — what exactly you will not do. If the partner believes that the poses from the porn movie are the most comfortable and natural, then sex turns into a traumatic activity.

Or are you ready for oral sex if the partner responds in the same way, and he is not going to try. Also unpleasant.

It is better, of course, to say what you are waiting for at all: slow sex with tenderness and all night, experiments and passion, or even going to relieve tension.

6. Who are we going to tell about this?

The boundaries of personal space are different for everyone. Someone leads channels about their adventures in Telegram, describing the special signs of all partners so that they can be identified in the morgue. Someone is shooting a video (and it is unknown where it will end up later). And someone is embarrassingly silent and does not split even during a heart-to-heart conversation with friends.

At least two people are having sex, and if a partner does not like to expose his sex life, then just take into account his desire.

Agree on what kind of mention is acceptable: "I don't talk about it", "We have a relationship", "Something happened" or "Do you know what he was doing in this position?". And do not break agreements, even if you tell only your best friends and in a terrible secret.

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