Healthy communication in a couple has P. M. De Netto, K. F. Quek, K. J. Golden. Communication, the heart of a relationship: Examining capitalization, accommodation, and self‑construal on relationship satisfaction / Frontiers in Psychology it is important not only in tense moments such as quarrels or emergencies, but also in good times — for example, during a period of career growth or romantic travel.
The reaction and manner of communication of partners in different circumstances can either contribute to a deeper sense of satisfaction with the relationship, or signal its end. Here are two tipping points that affect the future together.
Quarrels and communication problems are included K. Gravningen, K. R. Mitchell, et al. Reported reasons for breakdown of marriage and cohabitation in Britain: Findings from the third National Survey of Sexual Attitudes and Lifestyles (Natsal‑3) / PLoS ONE among the main reasons for the breakup of a relationship. However, the point is not only why disagreements arise, but also how partners behave during conflicts.
For example, the tone in which partners speak, whether they interrupt each other or speak out at the same time, whether someone feels humiliated and devalues problems ‑ all this affects the outcome of the conflict. Relationships are being harmed J. M. Gottman, J. L. Krokoff. Marital interaction and satisfaction: A longitudinal view / Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology not disagreements in themselves, but a defensive position, stubbornness and avoiding conversation.
Receptivity and responsiveness, when a partner clearly shows care and understanding, on the contrary, have a healing effect. Even during fierce arguments, you can maintain a respectful tone and let the other person know that you care about them, despite disagreement. A competent approach to conflicts also includes the ability to discuss problems without recrimination and maintain respect for each other after a quarrel.
In addition, the strategies that partners use to resolve conflicts and restore harmony in the relationship are important. This can be one of four approaches:
An active and constructive strategy is more likely to benefit the relationship. It involves compromises, the search for mutually beneficial solutions, active listening, attention to the partner's point of view, as well as a clear expression of one's own opinion, recognition of mistakes, willingness to forgive and the ability to step away from the conflict at the right moment to cool down and collect one's thoughts.
With a healthy approach, partners try to respond positively and constructively and put their relationships above individual differences. When one person makes a mistake, the other does not get angry and does not lash out with reproaches, but copes with the situation by showing patience and understanding.
Sharing good news and joyful moments can either improve or worsen the quality of a relationship. Here, too, everything depends on the reaction.
When we share something pleasant with a partner and feel that he shares our emotions and appreciates them, we become A. M. Gordon, E. A. Impett, et al. To have and to hold: Gratitude promotes relationship maintenance in intimate bonds / Journal of Personality and Social Psychology more grateful towards him, we begin to respond more sensitively to his needs and are more likely to remain loyal to him.
As with conflicts, an active and constructive response to good news implies enthusiasm, support and sincere interest and enhances a sense of satisfaction with the relationship. This strengthens the bond and emotional intimacy and allows you to experience positive moments more fully thanks to the responsiveness of your partner.A passive or destructive reaction, when we receive either a dry "well done" in response, or criticism and devaluation of our successes, makes us feel as if we are not appreciated and ignored. In the long run, this behavior leads to separation.
In addition, when a partner reacts actively, is interested in the details of a pleasant event and thereby enhances the overall joy, this allows you to get more pleasure from sex. Whereas other reactions, on the contrary, are associated M. Bosisio, N. O. Rosen, et al. Will you be happy for me? Associations between self‑reported, perceived, and observed responses to positive events and sexual well‑being in cohabiting couples /Journal of Social and Personal Relationships with lower levels of satisfaction or even sexual disorders.
If a partner shares our joy, it means that he cares about our happiness and well-being. Such moments make it clear how much emotional space he allocates for us in his life and how comfortable he is when we are in the spotlight.
To become a more responsive and receptive partner, it is important L. D. Kaczmarek, T. B. Kashdan, et al. Positive emotions boost enthusiastic responsiveness to capitalization attempts. Dissecting self‑report, physiology, and behavior / Journal of Happiness Studies take care of your mental health. When we experience positive emotions ourselves, we react with great enthusiasm to our partner's good news.
It is not difficult to find the opportunity to share happy moments with each other every day. When a partner makes at least a small attempt to establish a connection, for example, comments on something, asks about something, or otherwise shows that he needs your participation, it is very important R. J. Navarra, J. M. Gottman. Bids and turning toward in Gottman Method Couple Therapy / Encyclopedia of Couple and Family Therapy respond with full attention and a positive attitude.
For example, during a walk , the partner saw something pleasant and decided to share his emotions. He might say, "It's great that we went to the park today." A positive reaction suggests that in response you can mention a certain point or suggest spending more time together: "I liked it too. Will we do it again next week?"
By choosing communication that is dominated by responsiveness and support, we build healthier and more satisfying relationships. Our style of communication with a partner in difficult and happy times gives us opportunities for growth and development in a couple.
