In one experiment, we found out U. Buhlmann, H. Glaesmer, R. Mewes. Updates on the prevalence of body dysmorphic disorder: A population-based survey / Psychiatry Research that 27% of men and 41% of women are dissatisfied with at least one part of their body. The survey participants more often disliked their breasts, arms, hips and buttocks, skin, stomach and weight, while the participants recognized an insufficient percentage of muscle mass.
Although worries about appearance seem to be the lot of teenagers, with age, the rejection of their body or some parts of it does not disappear H. L. Quittkat, A. S. Hartmann, R. Düsing. Body Dissatisfaction, Importance of Appearance, and Body Appreciation in Men and Women Over the Lifespan / Frontiers in Psychiatry neither for women nor for men. Moreover, new problems may be added, because no one can avoid aging. And this not only spoils life, but can also have a bad effect on the sexual sphere.
Preoccupation with one's own shortcomings hinders 1. K. Poovey, D. C. de Jong, K. Morey. The Roles of Body Image, Sexual Motives, and Distraction in Women’s Sexual Pleasure / Archives of sexual behavior
2. D. T. Sanchez, A. K. Kiefer. Body concerns in and out of the bedroom: implications for sexual pleasure and problems / Archives of sexual behavior people focus on sexual pleasure, get aroused and have an orgasm. When you worry about whether your partner will notice the extra folds on your stomach, or are worried whether your penis is big enough and hard enough, it greatly distracts from the process. Besides, such thoughts during sex are a sure way 1. R. R. Milhausen, A. C. Buchholz, E. A. Opperman. Relationships between body image, body composition, sexual functioning, and sexual satisfaction among heterosexual young adults / Archives of Sexual Behavior
2. Y. Pujols, C. M. Meston, B. N. Seal. The Association Between Sexual Satisfaction and Body Image in Women / The Journal of Sexual Medicine never cum, and eventually become less sexually active due to repeated negative experiences.
It is generally believed that worries about appearance are the lot of women. They are really much more concerned about D. T. Sanchez, A. K. Kiefer. Body concerns in and out of the bedroom: implications for sexual pleasure and problems / Archives of Sexual Behavior your body and are unhappy with your weight. However, in modern society, the assessment of appearance also applies to men.
One Danish study noted F. van den Brink, M. Vollmann, L. C. Sternheim. Negative Body Attitudes and Sexual Dissatisfaction in Men: The Mediating Role of Body Self-Consciousness During Physical Intimacy / Archives of Sexual Behavior that in the media, a muscular, slender body is a sign of success and prestige. And men get hooked on objectification no worse than women: they begin to evaluate themselves based on appearance, forgetting about other qualities.
A negative attitude towards one's genitals is especially harmful to sexual self-esteem. If a man believes that his penis is not big enough, he may recognize himself as an incompetent sexual partner, earn anxiety and begin to avoid intimacy.
Moreover, since worries about appearance are considered to be a woman's business, men are embarrassed to discuss such issues with loved ones or specialists. And this further distances them from solving the problem.
There are several ways to mitigate The Healthiest Way to Accept Your Body / Psychology today worries about appearance and improve your sex life.
When you focus on how a person looks from the outside, you turn him into an object. And you do the same with yourself — you decide whether you are good or bad based on what you see in the mirror.
Shift the focus from your appearance to how you feel at any given moment, what you are thinking about, what actions you are doing. If you don't work as a model, there aren't many situations in which appearance is more important than your personality.
Try to switch from thinking about what your body looks like to how it works. Stand in front of a mirror, relax and watch. Look at how your chest rises and falls while breathing, how your muscles tighten when you move.
Your body is a fantastic machine that performs a huge number of different tasks without the control of your consciousness. It's amazing. And worthy of respect.Our brain is simply tuned to comparisons — this is how it understands whether something is big or small, whether it is close or far away. To understand that you are fat or ugly, you need to compare yourself with other people, otherwise these terms will simply lose their meaning.
Try to track your automatic reactions. Who are you comparing yourself to and why are you doing this? Are your conclusions fair, what feelings do they evoke?
If you are in your fourth decade, you have several children and a sedentary job in the office, it is at least illogical to compare yourself with young models, professional actors or bodybuilders who "live" in the gym.
Choose people who look like you to compare. If you want to change your body, their examples will be inspiring, not depressing.
It's much easier to love your body if it works properly. You can accept yourself with obesity, but being overweight will prevent you from moving easily and enjoying physical activity, as well as increase the risk of dangerous diseases.
Check regularly if everything is in order with your body, and do what is necessary to maintain health. This approach will not only increase your overall well-being, but also help you love your body for serving you well.
In the book M. Klein. Sexual intelligence. What is your SQ and why is it more important than technique? about sexual intelligence, sexologist Marty Klein says that many people suffer from the fact that they do not consider themselves beautiful enough, grow old or have some kind of limitations due to diseases.
This prevents them from feeling sexy, causes disappointment, sadness and powerlessness. In this state, it is difficult to imagine that the body can become a center of pleasure and a cause of excitement and joy for a partner.
At the same time, your sexuality is not what you look like, but who you are. If a person knows you well and appreciates you, the appearance of the body does not play a major role.
Give up the idea that sexuality is entirely tied to appearance. It depends much more on your personality and behavior, your ability to open up to new experiences, get rid of psychological barriers, and allow yourself to receive and give pleasure.
It's not so easy to throw away an idea that has arisen in your head - it's much easier to switch to another one. For example, if you are told: "Don't think about carrots," the image of this vegetable will immediately appear in your head. If they ask: "Don't think about carrots, think about eggplant", the latter will prevail in thoughts. This feature can be used during sex.
As soon as you have the idea that your stomach is not flat enough or your penis is not as big as you would like, switch your attention to something else.
For example, focus on your partner: consider his face, lips, hair, or skin. Or pay attention to how you feel: how the partner's touch, body weight, kisses and caresses are felt.
Focusing on sensations helps to let go of extraneous thoughts and fully immerse yourself in the process. And this is the main secret of good sex.
