The book will not give you a pill for pumping "Willpower + 5", but it will open your eyes to many evasions and ways of self-deception invented by our inventive brain to follow the path of least resistance and grab for momentary pleasures, sacrificing long-term goals. Exposing the sabotage of the mind and effective advice on combating internal sabotage is the main value of the book.
At first, I didn't like "Willpower" very much – the first two chapters repeat ideas familiar to fans of books about self-development. For example, about the importance of physical exercises, meditation and relaxation for the development of willpower and concentration. That it is impossible to advance along the path of personal growth without self-awareness, reflection and understanding of one's own motives. On an internal scale, the book was a three out of five, and I thought that I probably wouldn't leave it in my personal library. But after the faded prelude, the book began to play with completely different colors, revealing a variety of reasons why we suffer defeats in volitional trials. By the end of the fourth chapter, the arrow of the internal scale had moved to a solid five. Definitely, "Willpower" is one of the best books I've read this year (among about 15 pieces).
The author of the book, Kelly McGonigal, teaches at the Stanford University School of Medicine and at the same time, as part of the Stanford continuing Education program, teaches her own course "The Science of Willpower". She follows the latest research in psychology and neuroscience. And in his work he clearly and simply summarizes modern scientific research, citing as an example many psychological experiments and the stories of his students, but not overloading with scientific terminology.
Below I want to share some useful ideas from the book that will help you survive the tests of willpower:
1. Willpower is like muscles. We "get tired" of constant volitional control. Therefore, it is impossible to replace all bad habits with useful ones in one fell swoop, and by showing willpower in one area, we can break down in other matters. For example, forbidding ourselves to look at Facebook* and Twitter all day, we suddenly overeat before going to bed. But the good news is that willpower lends itself to training – every time we show restraint, we expand our repartitions. Even simple exercises help: "OK, I can eat sweets, but in no case will I take sweets from a vase that I will put in the most prominent place."
2. Many of you have probably heard about the experiment when the rats were implanted with electrodes in the brain in the pleasure zone, and they pressed until exhaustion on the lever that gives a discharge current. They were dying of hunger, but they did not give up "pleasure". Subsequent research showed that the authors of the original experiment made a mistake in their conclusions – the electrodes were implanted not in the pleasure zone, but in the desire stimulation zone. In rats, dopamine was released in the brain, which triggered the reaction of waiting for a reward: "let's act, now it will be fine." The same reactions are triggered in our brain when we walk between the shelves with bright goods in the supermarket; we look at ads with half-naked girls or guys; we look into Facebook * or Vkontakte, waiting for signs of approval from friends. Dopamine is at the heart of the reinforcement system and pushes us to take action to get an imaginary or real reward as quickly as possible. We confuse desire and happiness. Long–term and difficult goals like "launch a website" do not cause a release of dopamine, but the task of "answering all emails in the inbox" is very attractive - at least 10 times a day you can enjoy its fulfillment.
The momentary rewards that are in front of your eyes are the most difficult tests. To combat them, you can accustom yourself to a 10-minute pause in your risk zones – remove the object of desire out of sight and wait 10 minutes: "Do I really want to buy this? Do I really want a huge burger?"
3. We like to praise and reward ourselves for good behavior. Often the reward is reduced to indulgence, which contradicts the general line of behavior: "I saved a lot this week – I deserved to go shopping on the weekend," "Not a single missed workout since the beginning of the month – you can order dessert." An instructive story about a girl who wanted to lose weight before the wedding and went to the gym, but gained weight, as she began to reward herself with cakes for hard work with exercise machines. Monitoring progress can lead to a similar trap: "Oh, I've already written more than half of the review, you can take a break for 5 minutes and look in the refrigerator"...
To avoid the trap, think about what you are straining your willpower for – to be healthy and slim, to save money for housing, to start your own business, etc. Then you will no longer indulge yourself with destructive rewards that distance you from your goals.
4. Another insidious indulgence – it is enough for us to think about a good deed, make a promise to improve for the New Year, or make a banal to-do list to feel so much better that we can no longer bother to translate thoughts into reality. At the same time, there is even a desire to reward myself for how good I could be! By the same perverse logic, we postpone good behavior for the future: "I'll miss training today, and I'll catch up next week."
Incorrect time planning is very typical for us, because in the future we imagine ourselves to be ideal people who almost never get tired, live in the most favorable conditions without unforeseen incidents. "I'll sort things out, and next month I'll finally have time to write a blog, go to the gym, do yoga, save the world." Self-deception! Kelly McGonigal states: "Psychologists have proven that we mistakenly believe that we will have more free time in the future than today." Don't take loans from the future. Tomorrow you will be as busy as today, especially if you do nothing to change your behavior.
5. "A bad example is contagious" — proven by research. Bad habits spread like an epidemic. We perceive the actions of friends we trust as the norm. And if we are particularly vulnerable to any temptation, then the example of authoritative people will confirm that it is useless to resist - smoke, drink, overeat, cheat on your wife/husband — because everyone does it.
But the opposite is also true – good habits are also contagious. If you quit smoking, you can inspire your friends who smoke to try to quit too. Sports or running can suddenly become "fashionable" in the city, because people copy each other's behavior.
Therefore, it is useful to tell your friends about your achievements, write in a blog or social networks. First, we inspire other people to do great things. Secondly, we are launching the mechanism of pride. Our brain strives for approval and acceptance from fellow tribesmen, so it helps us make the "right" choice when it knows that we are being watched or there will be an opportunity to tell about success.
There are many similar discoveries on the pages of Willpower. After reading the book, it will be harder for your brain to deceive you. You will learn by what rules the mind plays and how it cheats, and get a chance to beat it.
"Willpower. How to develop and strengthen", Kelly McGonigal
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