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About Everything Wiki » Sexology » What to do if you don't want sex: 7 tips that will help

What to do if you don't want sex: 7 tips that will help

29 May 2023, 13:57, parser
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1. Relax

As found out D. A. Kalmbach, J. T. Arnedt, V. Pillai, J. A. Ciesla. The impact of sleep on female sexual response and behavior: a pilot study / The journal of sexual medicine scientists, it is difficult for the body to focus on sex if basic needs are not met.

It is unlikely that everyone will book a trip to the Maldives after this message, but you can try to at least get some sleep The Relationship Between Sex and Sleep / Sleep Foundation . Quality sleep improves physical well-being and psychological state, so libido should increase. So you need Sleep tips: 6 steps to better sleep / Mayo Clinic :

  • maintain a more or less constant sleep schedule;
  • create a comfortable environment — the bedroom should be dark, quiet and cool (it is better to ventilate the room before going to bed);
  • add physical activity, such as walking more or signing up for a gym;
  • do not go to bed immediately after eating or hungry.

2. Ask yourself if this is really a problem

There is no "normal" and "abnormal" libido, because everyone's sex drive is different. If it's once every six months and you feel so comfortable, then this is normal. Even the complete absence of sex, if it does not bother you, is also the norm.

3. Check the first aid kit

Some medications affect Loss of libido (reduced sex drive) / NHS on the balance of chemicals that cause arousal. Therefore, sometimes the libido shrinks when taken:

  • antidepressants;
  • medications for high blood pressure;
  • anticonvulsants;
  • neuroleptics;
  • means to reduce testosterone and treat prostate tumors;
  • hormonal contraceptives.

If you think that medications have affected your sex life, contact the doctor who prescribed them. Sometimes it is enough to conjure with the dosage or the time of reception, and the colors will return to life. In other cases, they try to pick up an analog.

It is impossible to throw medicines without permission: a hypertensive crisis or an exacerbation of depression will still not bring passion into your couple.

4. Deal with personal problems

Internal unresolved problems depress Low sex drive in women / Mayo Clinic desire. For example, if you are worried about the circumstances at work, do not feel sexy, or do not want to get out of bed at all (and even live). It is clear that until you put things in order in your head, you will not be up to sex.

Sometimes it is enough to wait for the end of a difficult period, for example, the delivery of an important report at work. In more severe cases, you will need the services of a psychologist or psychiatrist.

5. Talk to a partner

Sometimes problems with sex are a manifestation of tension in a relationship. It seems that you don't quarrel, but things don't go well in bed. Or the problem is sex. For example, you don't like what the partner does and how exactly.

Anyway, we need to discuss the situation with each other. Ups and downs are a normal part of any relationship. If you are interested in them, try to fix Low sex drive in women / Mayo Clinic the situation. Discuss the accumulated problems together or with a family counselor, tell us what is bothering you. And try to return the passion, for example, with the help of new poses, sex toys, role‑playing games and other ways.

Talking about sex is difficult. But it is impossible without it. A partner who treats you as a person and respects your wishes will accept them.

However, we must remember: sex may not return. Especially if the problem is different rate for each of you. No amount of persuasion and "perfect courtship" will make a person want more than he needs.

6. Get healthy

The reasons for the decrease in desire were one of the most popular questions in Tatiana Nikonova's sexprosvet blog. And sometimes the question was formulated as follows: "How to relieve stress from a partner in order to increase his desire?" In response, Tatiana told her story.

Tatiana Nikonova
Journalist and blog author, sex education activist.

All last year I basically didn't want sex, and then it turned out that I had a vitamin D deficiency. The endocrinologist, according to other indications, prescribed horse doses to increase to a normal level, and now I really want to. Question: how would the removal of unnecessary worries revive my desire for sex? No way. How could I have guessed myself that I had a vitamin deficiency if the doctor hadn't sent me for analysis? Also nothing. How would I feel if my partner said that he was humiliated by my refusals? Under pressure because of responsibility for what I have no idea about and what I have no control over.

The general state of health really has Loss of libido (reduced sex drive) / NHS a huge impact on sex life. Sometimes physical manifestations of the disease are to blame, sometimes emotional stress, sometimes side effects of treatment. Most often, difficulties arise due to:

  • heart diseases;
  • diabetes mellitus;
  • insufficiency of thyroid function;
  • malignant tumors;
  • consequences of large operations;
  • depression;
  • anxiety disorder.

For example, an increase in blood sugar levels can D.M. Selva, K.N. Hogeveen, S.M. Innis, G.L. Hammond. Monosaccharide‑induced lipogenesis regulates the human hepatic sex hormone‑binding globulin gene / Journal of Clinical Investigation turn off the gene that carries sex hormones to tissues and organs, which means — to reduce attraction.

Therefore, if you have not had a desire for several weeks, but you are not taking the medications from the list above, you have no relationship problems and stress, then it is best not to delay going to the doctor. And remember: depression and anxiety disorder are the same diseases as gastritis, diabetes or angina. Because of them, you can't just stop being sad, just like you can't order bones to heal after a fracture.

7. Try

This does not apply to situations when you are disgusted and scared even from the very thought of sex. Rather, it's about those cases when you don't really want to, but the idea itself doesn't turn you away. Then you can try it: suddenly you will be able to catch a wave and have fun.

A partner can help you achieve the desired mood . For example, to dance, do a massage or add oral sex to the foreplay.

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