Unfortunately, we need to immediately indicate that there is no universal way. But there are moments common to all people that will help to set up for sex.
It is obvious that if any organism is exhausted to the extreme, it is not up to reproduction, it would satisfy its needs. It's the same for people: a sleep-deprived or hungry person under stress will have no desire Loss of female libido / Health Direct . If a woman is exhausted after a day at work or with children (and sometimes both), no kissing, stroking, biting will work.
If you dream of a passionate lover — give her the opportunity to relax, listen if she needs it, and sometimes even give up sex in favor of hugs.
Indeed, anxiety, depression, and worries switch the brain into a protective mode. In conditions of scarcity, lack of something, sexuality is inhibited. At the same time, it is turned on if the partner has the necessary resource, can share it, show favor, take care. It remains only to understand what exactly will be a resource and concern for your partner in this situation.
If you are hoping for a romantic evening, try to create the right atmosphere. The recipe will depend on the preferences of the couple: someone will send playful messages to each other all day, someone will cook dinner together to eat it by candlelight, and someone will arrange a massage session.
Consider that sex begins long before the first touch and ends strongly after orgasm. Sex is not a separate event in a vacuum. You can think of the sexual act itself as the cherry on the cake of relationships, situations, conversations. Consider ingredients such as expectation, uncertainty, longing. These are all important parts of the recipe that improve the taste of the cake for both you and your partner.
To do this, observe and discuss preferences, especially if you have been together for a long time. So you will know how to please each other, which lever to press to get a partner. This means that you will be able to choose touches, scenarios, poses that she definitely likes. Or try something new, but with the understanding that, most likely, it will suit her.
If you only get to know each other, it's better to give preference to the classics: stroke your hair, neck and decollete, kiss and bite your neck and ears, gradually descending lower. Watch your body language and ask in the process if she likes it. It's a bad idea to immediately rush to a new partner with a gag and a whip, unless you met on a thematic forum.
Do what she likes, and do not forget to express your desires, your excitement. After all, sexual arousal has two sides: the receptive ("I want him/her") and the receptive ("I see that my partner wants me, and I get excited"). However, this works if all other conditions are met.
Before any sexual activity, you need Sexual Consent / Planned Parenthood get active consent. This is when a person can express in words that he wants sex. To do this, you need to be an adult (and not look like an adult), conscious and not under the influence of alcohol, drugs or threats and coercion. Only this way, otherwise it is rape or violent acts of a sexual nature.
Remember that consent is given for each type of interaction, not for all at once. A girl may be ready to kiss, but not want sex. Or want vaginal penetration, but be against anal. In addition, consent can be revoked at any time: if she changes her mind, you need to stop.
And you can't persuade for sex or any kind of it if the partner said she didn't want it.
If it seems to you that it kills romance, try to project the situation on yourself. If during sex your partner starts to strangle you or stimulate you anally, because she decides that this way sex will only get hotter, perhaps your excitement will not grow, but will evaporate. Consent protects the boundaries of a person, and this principle cannot be violated.
Sexual arousal is the pursuit of something attractive, not the avoidance of something bad. The thought "if I don't have sex, something terrible will happen" excites few people. So you can force a person to do something, but not want to do it. Therefore, for example, showing resentment, threats of divorce and other penalties for refusal will not work.
Strong emotional connection and trusting relationships make Low sex drive in women / Mayo Clinic sex is better, and problems in a couple, on the contrary, kill libido. Ending a quarrel with sex may seem like a good idea, but in the long run, difficulties will accumulate. To solve some everyday issues, they did not come up with anything better than an open, honest conversation. And when everything is resolved, you can move into the bedroom — then the excitement will not keep you waiting.