In short, it is possible. And in order to understand why, we need to ask ourselves why, in principle, such doubts arise.
Love as a feeling is shrouded in myths. There is, for example, the idea of a soulmate, suggesting that one person in the world is meant for us. There is also the idea of some kind of ideal love, in which you don't pay attention to anyone else. And if he suddenly felt an interest in someone else, it means that that intimacy was not real.
But if we enter the territory of feelings, everything is more complicated here. There is no table by which you can determine what true love should be and what it is. This relationship can be assessed on the subject of how harmonious and healthy they are, how happy they make. And the person himself feels and names his feelings. And the experience of people who love two people tells us: it's possible.
With one caveat: we don't choose which emotions we feel, but we decide what to do with them next.
The situation can be of different levels of complexity, depending on the personal views of the person and the couple he has. For example, if someone is in a polyamorous relationship and is not worried about it, there will be no problem for him at all.
It is more difficult for people who prefer monogamy. Because in any case, they have to make a choice, and it does not necessarily consist in preferring one of the lovers. You can also not develop either relationship at all or, conversely, go all out. However, the latter is also unlikely to be easy, because betrayal is often accompanied by guilt, shame and other uncomfortable emotions.
However, there is also no instruction that would help you find the right way out of a love triangle. So you will have to make a decision on your own. But you can start with these steps.
It may seem simple, but in fact, not everyone has the skill to recognize their emotions. Especially if you're used to suppressing them. Therefore, it is important to answer yourself honestly, what do you feel, whether you are in love with both people.
This is especially important for those who were in a relationship before meeting a second love interest. It is important to understand that feelings do not necessarily arise for specific reasons. But sometimes they can still be identified.
Let's say that in a long relationship, the stage of first love has passed. It implies some kind of fusion, when two people stick together like two dumplings, and it seems that it is almost impossible to separate them. But at the next stage, the couple is faced with the realization that they are two different subjects, and not a single whole. They begin to notice that they are not all alike, and find themselves in a situation where they need to reinvent the interaction, get used to each other. This is completely normal, because this is the way to an even healthier, harmonious union. But not everyone is ready for this. And sometimes one partner, feeling chilled, gets scared and looks for a new crush.
Or, for example, a person sat down to rethink his life, realized that something did not suit him. But I was not ready to take responsibility for what was happening, so I decided to blame everything on my partner. And in this situation, he literally falls in love with the first person he meets, because he is looking for a savior. But he does not lose feelings for his existing partner either.
Or maybe a person gets something on the side.
Perhaps one of the partners in the relationship does not get something and tries to realize his desires with another person. It's not only and not so much about sex. Maybe the girl doesn't like to go to the mountains, but the guy is an avid tourist and he was originally looking for a hiking companion.
In general, there can be a lot of reasons and it is important to be honest with yourself when searching for them.
Feelings are, of course, good. But relationships are a little more than that. Psychologist Stanislav Sambursky offers to answer several questions:
The previous stages were self-diagnosis, which led us to possible conclusions.
If you realize that you have feelings for two people, do not rush to do something that can harm you or someone else.
Try to understand your emotions and motives, as well as weigh the pros and cons of each partner. Don't be afraid to admit your mistakes and ask for forgiveness if you have offended or deceived someone. Do not forget about responsibility for your actions and for the feelings of other people. And remember that falling in love is not love, but only one of the stages of its development. Love is a deep and lasting feeling that requires respect, trust, compromise and altruism. If you want to build a real and happy relationship, you need not only to fall in love, but also to love.
