In our class, children were mainly divided into 3 types: excellent students, who were given everything easily, excellent students, who had to cram for days and nights, and everyone else, who didn't care at all. Children from the first category were considered talented, from the second - diligent, and children from the third - just lazy. As in any school, the successful and talented were prepared for an exceptionally successful study, career and life in the style of Faster, Higher, Stronger. But the higher the demands on yourself, the more difficult it is to cope with situations in which you do not always find yourself faster, Higher, Stronger.
I think that many people received a monetary reward for good grades at school. That is, you were paid not to study really well, but for high scores that opened the way to the best universities. How exactly you received these grades was less of a concern to parents. At least that was the case in my family, too. I was just lucky that studying was easy and everything I read settled in my head, and did not fly out the next day.
In his book «NurtureShock: New Thinking About Children» Po Brosnon talks about the reverse effect of praise. Children whose parents constantly told them that they are the best, growing up, are afraid to accept any challenge in which there is at least a remote probability of failure, fearing for their reputation. They are used to the fact that in the eyes of others they are the most-the most and failure will have a bad effect on their public reputation. They need universal approval like air!
The main mistake is that we think that the only way to make a positive impression on people and get recognition (praise, candy) is wealth, fame and power. But this does not mean at all that true happiness lies in these three standard indicators.
The desire to please leads to the fact that we try to choose for ourselves such cases in which the percentage of failures is reduced to almost zero. A person chooses a job that he will definitely cope with and that will not present unpleasant surprises. If they choose new directions, then only those that they have studied and are confident in their abilities.
But what about new beginnings that go hand in hand with risk at the very beginning of the journey? In this case, the strong side turns into the weakest — perfectionism and fear of mistakes prevent many talented people from starting something new, risky and interesting.
Stop praising yourself for your achievements and start appreciating the ability to work well and take risks! The truth is that people love fighting. How long can you watch a movie where everything goes smoothly at a constant pace? I think you'll get bored in 20 minutes, if not earlier. So if you give others the opportunity to participate in your new, interesting and risky endeavors, you will get even sweeter candy.
Sometimes you need to take a step back in order to make progress in the direction you need. Successful people are often so afraid to step back in order to take the right direction that they prefer either to continue doing what they don't like, or to withdraw from it. This is especially true for career changes.
Truly great and successful people have always found the strength to destroy what they have created and build something new and more successful on the basis of lessons already learned!
When you are talented and successful, various offers are showered on you from all sides, as if from a cornucopia. But is it always good to have such a rich choice? Sometimes such a number of interesting offers turns into a real torment. It is difficult for you to choose, you are afraid of making a mistake and analytical paralysis sets in.
If you refuse one prestigious offer, you will have to choose another, and what if it turns out not to be so good? And if the opposite is true? How to convince yourself that dreams that run counter to the public definition of prestige and success are worth realizing?
You cannot control the incoming offers, but you can change their nature and your reaction to them. Be honest and tell people exactly what you want and what you like, what motivates. Then it will be easier for others to offer cases that are really interesting to you.
In order for the wish to be fulfilled, it is necessary that someone hears it!
The real secret is that successful people are more focused on efficiency rather than results. When they encounter difficulties, instead of saying "It will take too long", they say "I won't be able to do it". Some people who have changed their field of activity complain that they do not have a brilliant career here (as in their old job).
The main question is not whether it is possible to do it or not, but how long it will take and how hard you will have to work on it.
You need to know exactly what you want. And the only person you have to beg is yourself. You can't fail if you don't give up. There are not a lot of options: most of them are not even relevant.
We are always more proud of overcoming difficulties than of the final results.
