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The words "Here you are stubborn" are difficult to take as a compliment. Usually they are uttered by a person who has run out of strength, unsuccessfully trying to convince you. It seems that you should be ashamed immediately, but you don't need to do this.
Stubbornness can be different. If you say "no" out of harmfulness in a situation when it is more profitable and correct to say "yes", then, indeed, it is worth thinking about. It is necessary to understand why it is more important for you to go against the speaker than to act rationally.
But much more often stubbornness does not harm you, but helps.
Remember when, as a child, they tried to feed you semolina porridge, but you did not open your mouth, cried, spat it out. So you showed that you don't want to eat porridge. In adulthood, they try to "feed" you with worse things: injustice, unnecessary responsibilities, and so on. It is logical that your opponent would like it more if you chewed in silence. But you have grown up and can fight back. So stubbornness only helps you to defend your boundaries.
Indifference has become a trend, and that's good. People actively defend their views, support the offended, speak out against the guilty, donate money to charity. And they still get reproaches. "Here you say that you stand for the rights of political prisoners, but you don't want to publish an ad about a stray animal," the society tells us and enrolls in the ranks of the callous and heartless.
In fact, if you take everything to heart, you can go crazy. There is too much injustice, pain, suffering in the world. Just open any news feed. If you pass every message through yourself, there won't be much left of you.
The ability to remain indifferent and healthy cynicism help to protect themselves from the surrounding reality. Being an activist is good and right, but only when you have the strength to do it.
There is a kind of cult of the stone face in the Russian mentality. It would be understandable if only emotions that are considered negative — anger, resentment, fear - were condemned. But it is not customary to demonstrate joy either. This is even embedded in proverbs and sayings: "If you laugh a lot, you will cry a lot," "Laughter without a reason is a sign of foolishness." Since childhood, emotional people are pulled down, especially boys.
But it is obvious that a person has emotions for a reason. Moreover, they are not divided into good and bad, they are just a response to external events and internal insights. Of course, it is good to understand your reactions and manage them — for example, to restrain anger if you communicate with a client. But it is very difficult to understand feelings if you never give yourself the right to be emotional.
Moreover, if emotions are suppressed for too long, they will still find a way out — only by repeatedly intensifying. Or they will start destroying you from the inside.
So allow yourself to cry over a pitiful movie, laugh at YouTube videos and get angry at the person who drove through a puddle and doused you with water from head to toe.
It's good to be calm, non-confrontational and everyone likes it. For example, a person has taken your place in the cinema — is it difficult for you to move. The cashier did not give the change — but it's some pennies. A colleague went on vacation and outweighed the deadline on you last week — but you won't spoil the relationship. In general, it's good for everyone around you when you are calm and non-confrontational.
But when you are ready to openly engage in confrontation, you sit in the place you have chosen, do not do their work for others and feel pretty good.Since childhood, we are taught to keep our heads down. It is believed that no one likes upstarts at school. So, if you have learned a lesson or have some talent, do not show it until you are forced: they will call you to the blackboard or ask you to sing. And then we transfer all this into adulthood and silently wait for the boss to notice our good work and raise salary. And if someone praises us, we instantly devalue the compliment:
— Oh, you draw so cool.
— Come on, it's just a daub.
No one else will call you on the magazine to find out that you have learned the lesson the best.
Everyone has talents and strengths. Knowing them and not being afraid to talk about them is an important skill that will make your life better.
"You're just lazy" is a convenient phrase in order to force someone (or yourself) to do what you don't want without any explanation and motivation. The word "laziness" has settled down next to its counterpart "need". But sometimes, instead of being ashamed and overcome, it's better to stop and think.
You may be lazy because the action seems meaningless to you. For example, you bought a dishwasher and a robot vacuum cleaner, and all the older relatives now consider you to be a lazy 80th level. Or sabotage the case because it was imposed on you against your will. Or you have already done your part of the work faster than anyone else and do not want to help anyone — you have the right.
Finally, laziness can be a good indicator that you are tired, burned out or depressed. If nothing pleases you anymore and you barely have enough strength to watch TV shows in bed, this is a serious symptom. Self-flagellation will only make it worse.
So there is no need to fight laziness (you need to be able to rest). But it's better to listen to her.
People who want to get to the bottom of everything, sort out the details, get to the bottom of the little things, are often accused of being boring. But meticulousness is useful both for you personally and for society.
Let's say you can just take out a mortgage. Or you can think about the repayment strategy beforehand and develop several plans depending on how your financial condition changes. In general, lay out straws and do not worry. Or you can lend a large sum only on receipt (even to a friend). It seems like a formality, but it will be easier to return your money.
And also meticulous people are the orderlies of the intellectual forest. It often happens: someone in the company is openly heresy, referring to "some kind of research." There is a great risk that this data will spread further: "Have you heard, The Earth is flat ! Yes, scientists have proved it!" Only the most meticulous person can save the situation. It is he who will not take words for granted, google the information, double-check it according to authoritative sources, and then also tell the terrible truth to everyone present.
If meticulousness is a trait of your character, cherish it. If you don't have it, try to be more attentive to the details at least where it is critical.
