But love is a surprisingly powerful thing: it can both mix you with dirt and give you wings. But if you are not ready to try, to make efforts, then faith in love will not return to you. Give yourself hope, open up to this feeling, allow yourself to love!
How can you find your love and fall in love again without being afraid of pain and disappointment?
Below you will find some recommendations on how to do this ↓
Allow yourself to get attached to your partner, feel his care and warmth. These feelings will not do anything bad to you: they are good, correct, positive. And if you show your feelings, your partner will be much calmer and easier to act, knowing about reciprocity. Remember, you are not alone in your concern about the correctness of a love relationship.
When you really like someone, but the ghosts of past failed relationships scare you away from a new partner, tell yourself: "This is different. It's a different person. It's a different relationship."
Remind yourself that now you are wiser, more stable emotionally. Learn from your mistakes and move forward, leaving the past behind. Think positively, believe in a new relationship. Having such a mindset will be useful for both.
If the past still does not let you go, try to talk to someone close or contact a psychologist. Sometimes this approach helps to better understand the picture of your fears.
Some people fixate not on the past, but on the future. The constant questions "What if...", "What if I'm just wasting my time?" they torment my head and do not let me love.
Constantly worrying about the future, we waste our energy and do not live in the present.
Remember that the time spent on building relationships does not go anywhere, it is always valuable and teaches us.
Are you afraid of losing yourself, your individuality? If in the past you were wildly jealous or constantly criticized, this does not mean that the new relationship should be similar. Leave the past in the past. And realize that the situation you are in now is different — in it two people are ready to take care of each other and make mature decisions together.
It is noteworthy that when the fear of love is present in you, it helps to build clear but friendly boundaries of relationships at the beginning of their formation. Let your partner know that you need personal space, time to be alone with yourself, the opportunity to do something alone, and that this will not affect your love and relationships at all.
Remember, constantly improving yourself and being full-fledged personalities is much better than being just part of a couple. There should always be "air and time" for yourself in a relationship, and both of you should understand that there is nothing wrong with this.
Do you not fall in love at first sight or so that sparks already fall out of your eyes? Are you careful and you need time? Good! Understand that this is a positive fact rather than a negative one.
Take your time and calmly develop your relationship. Be wise, honest, direct and open with your partner.
Love, "cooked over a slow fire," often turns out to be strong and respectful.
In addition, it is less traumatic psychologically than lightning love, when the habits and shortcomings of one person can become an absolute surprise for another.
Being in a loving relationship means supporting each other, and not changing under the influence of a partner and not trying to constantly change something. But if such a desire arises: the sooner you discuss what does not suit you in the relationship or what you would like to change, the better.
Warn your partner about the peculiarities of your life: whether it's a traditional trip to the bathhouse on the 31st or having an allergy to a cat, mandatory Saturday fishing with friends or unwillingness to have children.
But if something can still be changed and concessions can be made, then it is by no means impossible to give up the interests that are really important to you! Both will remain unhappy in a couple. If this problem prevents you from building a relationship, repeat the mantra of being open, honest and polite to each other and start all over again.
Love is multifaceted. Love is not universal. There are no clear boundaries in it. Everyone has their own definitions of this feeling. How do you personally feel about love? Perhaps you should change your point of view, and the fears will disappear by themselves?!
Love can take you by surprise. To appear under the guise of friendship, common interests, weekly conversations in the pub. She doesn't have to be crazy. It can be simple or complex — as you wish.
But love is, first of all, communication with a person who means a lot to you. And when all the fears are over, you can open up to feelings and really fall in love, you can enjoy a love relationship, while getting to know not only yourself, but also your partner.
Good luck and love to you!
