Every person faces problems and failures. And if he thinks that the only reason here is the people around him, then he is very mistaken. Derek Sievers, entrepreneur and programmer, author of the forthcoming book "Anything You Want", shares his thoughts on this problem.

I cut two chapters out of my book because they were too too nasty for me. In them, I talked about all the terrible details of how my employees rebelled against me, tried to get rid of me, destroyed the company's culture, turning it into a swamp where everyone was focused not on customers, but only on their own benefit.

I was angry at those people for several years, and feeling like a victim made me tell about it from my position. At least, that's what I thought. Why did I cut out these chapters? I realized that I was to blame for all this myself:

I allowed the corporate culture to be perverted.
I ignored the problems instead of nipping them in the bud.
I was removed from the team instead of mentoring and training employees.
I was confusing everyone with my daily reflections. It was necessary to formalize them into concrete solutions before sharing them with employees.
I gave out instructions without thinking and without watching how they were executed.
I was talking to the wrong people. I should have chosen those responsible more carefully.

I could list 20 more similar moments, but I hope you get the idea. After I realized that it was my mistake, it became much easier for me. It's even better than forgiving. When we forgive, we still play the victim and inside we continue to consider them guilty, identifying ourselves with a noble forgiving person.

After admitting my mistake, I realize that these employees only played their roles in the community that I created. It is very important to be able to admit your mistakes. All this happened thanks to me, and I made a mistake, and I learned a lot from it and learned a lot.

Such a philosophy can be applied to almost any aspect of life, because our perception and our actions affect everything that happens to us and around us. So if something went wrong, then it's my fault. Some guy stole a sum of money from me? It's my fault, I wasn't attentive enough to recognize his intentions. Did the love of life leave me after 6 years of living together, informing me about it by Email? I let our relationship take its course.

Of course, the word "responsibility" quite clearly reflects such a position, but this is too distant a concept. By saying "my fault", we clearly address it to ourselves.