Perhaps every person has parted with his soulmate at least once in his life. It's good when this happens by mutual consent: both partners have cooled down to each other, feelings have burned out, love has passed. But it also happens that one of the couple decides to terminate the relationship on their own and puts the second one in front of the fact. Such a sudden decision causes shock, pain, resentment, fear and a bunch of other negative emotions that need to be dealt with somehow. And in this article we will tell you how to survive a breakup, pull yourself out of this state and move on.
Parting is a very unpleasant process. In farewell conversations, a lot is always said, but not everything. After that, there are necessarily a lot of things that I want to explain, express, but the train has already left. In crisis situations, psychologists recommend keeping a diary and putting all your negative thoughts and emotions on paper, rather than storing them in yourself.
You can keep a diary, or you can write a letter to the person who left you. Moreover, not typing on the keyboard, but writing with a pen on paper is a very important condition.
Another important condition: address the person by name. Express everything that hurts, blame, resent, whine. The main thing is not to keep these emotions to yourself. Tell us in this letter everything that you didn't have time to say at the meeting. If you are angry, declare it, if you regret something, ask for forgiveness.
Get rid of the negativity, you should not drag it with you through life. After all, if negative emotions are not transferred somewhere, they will stay with you and will push, pull back.
The most difficult thing after a breakup is not that you are left alone, but that you are left alone with all your happy memories together. Every thing, street, tree, bench, lamppost reminds of joint walks and time spent together. And the fact that there are memories, and the reasons for these memories are not nearby, brings great pain.
It is useless to do anything with this pain, you just have to live it. And that takes time. Give yourself that time. As long as it takes.
You may be hurried by different thoughts, stereotypes and fears: you urgently need to find someone else, because time is running out; it's time to start a family, and you have no one; if you don't hurry now, you will be left alone in old age, and so on. Drive these thoughts away. Everything has its time, and now is the time to let go of past relationships.
To forgive and let go is what psychologists advise in order to move on. It sounds logical and simple, but it is very difficult to do it in real life. It will take a lot of time and mental strength.
If you are not ready to truly forgive a person now, at least allow yourself to live your life without looking back. Stop visiting your ex-partner's page on social networks, reading tweets, watching photos on Instagram*.
By doing all this, you, albeit indirectly, continue to participate in the life of that person, to be with him mentally. Of course, up to some point it can help to cope with stress, but then it will pull back. It will be easier for you when you consciously stop doing this and start living your life. Don't cling to the past, rather think about the present.
In any crisis situation, the support of family and friends is irreplaceable and priceless. Therefore, do not refuse when relatives give you a helping hand, do not go into yourself to grieve alone and mourn your fate.
Be with people. Talk to them, laugh, walk, get acquainted. Be open to this world, and don't lock yourself in your cramped little world.
Try to look at your situation not from the position of the victim (what I lost because of the terminated relationship), but from the position of the winner (what I got, gained from it). Do not get hung up on the negative, it is better to pay attention to the positive sides.
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