At different periods of our lives, we share a lot with other people: we live under the same roof, use the same things, create common memories. Over time, we even adopt each other's manners, habits and communication style, without really understanding how we do it and why. In social psychology, this is called the chameleon effect.
This is an unconscious imitation of facial expressions, gestures, verbal behavior, non-verbal signals and other elements of another person's behavior. Just as chameleons, after whom the effect is named, can change their color, we tend to adapt to the people we interact with in a social environment. And as we become more and more like them, they become more and more like us.
In close friendships or romantic relationships, the chameleon effect gradually increases. The more time we spend with someone, the more we learn similar habits. These may be some characteristic repetitive features of behavior, communication, or socialization.
On the other hand, in order to experience the chameleon effect, we absolutely do not need to have a relationship history with a person. Psychologists have found out T. L. Chartrand, J. A. Bargh. The Chameleon Effect: The Perception‑Behavior Link and Social Interaction / Journal of Personality and Social Psychology that unintentional imitation can also occur during communication with strangers. Moreover, even if they do not smile, we do not maintain eye contact with them and we do not have a goal to find a common language with them.
The reasons for this phenomenon are related to evolution. Behavioral mimicry studies say J. L. Lakin, V. E. Jefferis, et al. The Chameleon Effect as Social Glue: Evidence for the Evolutionary Significance of Nonconscious Mimicry / Journal of Nonverbal Behavior that we unconsciously copy the people around us in order to increase our chances of being accepted into the group. This was necessary for our ancestors because they had to rely on others for survival, such as finding food and protecting themselves from predators.
That's why researchers call the chameleon effect "social glue": imitating someone subconsciously strengthens our bond with them. According to research, it usually has a positive effect R. van Baaren, L. Janssen, et al. Where is the love? The social aspects of mimicry / Philosophical Transactions B on the relationship between two people, because it makes them believe that they look like each other and are on the same wavelength. In addition, the chameleon effect encourages us to trust others more, consider them more attractive and feel a stronger connection with them.
Initial studies of the chameleon effect have confirmed that it promotes greater sympathy and mutual understanding. The participants of the experiments noted that the interlocutors who copied their movements, unlike the interlocutors who did not, liked them much more and the dialogue with them developed much more smoothly.
Thus, unconscious copying is one of the ways in which our brain works unnoticeably for us to get along with other people. After all, the better our interaction with them, the more our fundamental need to be part of a group is satisfied and the faster social connections and relationships are formed that help us live happily ever after.
You may notice it when you communicate with your friends, for example, greeting each other with the same words or sitting with the same legs crossed. In addition, we often copy not only the poses, but also the facial expression and mood of a person when he talks about good or bad news.
With strangers, the chameleon effect is also noticeable, but not so obvious. It can be detected, for example, at moments when we change our position exactly the same way as the person opposite us on the subway, or when we respond to a compliment about our clothes with a similar compliment.
At the same time, one element of behavior is transmitted especially easily. This is a smile, which is a typical example of unconscious copying. We are designed to smile back at the person who smiles at us.
As with other social phenomena, the chameleon effect does not manifest itself equally in everyone. And although we are all susceptible to it one way or another, some categories of people are more prone to it than others.
During the research, they copied their interlocutors more easily. This makes sense: if you know how to put yourself in another person's shoes, then most likely you will be both more receptive to their behavior and more open to accepting it.
In new circumstances, for example, at an interview or in the company of strangers, we rather use the chameleon effect to adjust to the environment and fit into it at least externally, rather than stand out in a negative light. In a situation like this, it benefits us by helping us establish contacts quickly and make a pleasant first impression.
For example, sellers or consultants. They are often taught how to benefit from the chameleon effect, and they get used to using it. When such specialists consciously reflect the gestures and manner of speaking of the client, he begins to trust them and he gets the feeling that he is understood. It works W. Kulesza, D. Dolinski, et al. Temporal Aspects of the Chameleon Effect and Hospitality: The Link Between Mimicry, Its Impact, and Duration / Cornell Hospitality Quarterly . For example, waiters who copy the behavior of guests receive more tips.
The desire to use the chameleon effect is a sign that you are tuning into your surroundings and focusing on the people around you. In the end, it will only benefit your relationship with your loved ones.
When you adjust to others, you show that you care about them, that you understand them. This makes the relationship deeper. Our brain created the chameleon effect for a reason. Why not use it as a "social glue", which, in fact, it is.
The most important thing about the chameleon effect is to be aware of it. Since this is an unconscious process, all we can do is notice when it occurs, understand what caused it, and think about how it can affect us and our relationships with other people.
In addition, the chameleon effect sometimes forces us to adopt other people's habits that we don't need. For example, your friend checks the phone every minute and after a while you start doing the same thing. But the opposite is also true: when you communicate with people with healthy habits, you copy the good ones.
This does not mean that you need to get rid of friends with bad habits. It is only important to realize that both good behavior and bad behavior can become contagious.
Remember: intentional imitation has nothing to do with the chameleon effect and is often used as a method of manipulation. Therefore, always listen to yourself when you notice how someone is copying you. Especially if it seems like a trick to get you to like him, because otherwise you would hardly like this person.
If attempts to copy you draw your attention to the person who is doing it, instead of making you feel comfortable, this is a clear signal to doubt his sincerity.
