Sometimes we are visited by useful thoughts and ideas that could make our lives easier. But we doubt and do nothing because we think we need explicit permission or an invitation. We may feel like asking for what we want, seeking advice, and clarifying the situation. But we're still procrastinating.
To get started, try to imagine someone giving you permission or making an offer that will help break the deadlock. For example:
Draw in your imagination a similar picture in as much detail and colorfully as possible. If it seems reasonable and realistic to you, give yourself this permission yourself. Or think about what a confident person would do in your place.
In some situations, we throw good ideas aside because we strive for absolute confidence that they will work. For example:
But confidence will never come if we hesitate all the time and are afraid to experiment. If some option seems more appropriate and useful, try it and see what happens.
If you are not ready to act, promise yourself that you will think about the situation for 24 hours, and then start implementing the best idea that comes to your mind during this time.
Complete the statement: "My ideal version can do... without support, but my real version needs it."
Perhaps your ideal self is able to work out in the gym without a trainer, and the real self cannot do without him. Or your ideal self does not need a tutor to learn English, but the real one requires individual lessons for two hours a week.
Think about how you can provide your real self with the necessary support.
When we don't understand how to approach a particular situation, we become insecure and feel the need for an example to follow.
Imagine that you are 20 years old and you want to buy an apartment, but you have no idea how to do it, and you do not know a single 20‑year-old who has succeeded. If you had a friend with relevant experience, his story would give you strength and you would probably ask him about everything.
Once you determine how a role model or story will help you overcome obstacles, you can start looking for the right people or explore alternative approaches.
Add one more statement: "I ruined my life when..."
Pay attention to the first thought that comes to your mind, and then try to assume that everything you are fixating on is not true. If that situation had not happened in reality, what would you have done, what would you have found the strength and opportunities for?
Try to completely shut out the obsessive thoughts that pull you down, convincing yourself that they are untenable. The point is not to objectively assess whether your thoughts are true or false. The main thing is to observe how your feelings and actions change when you apply this approach and stop perceiving your thoughts as unconditionally corresponding to reality.
