There are people who always radiate energy and confidence, not paying attention to what they lack: money, beauty, connections. And even skeptics are surprised to find that they have fallen under their charm.
Such charming personalities live a full life. It is to them that people turn for help, advice or friendly communication. Those who are not like them, when left alone, ask themselves questions: what do they have that I don't have that makes them so attractive?
What is their secret? In the sense of self-sufficiency that comes from within.
Charming people do not seek constant approval because they are confident enough in themselves. They have one more thing in common: they relentlessly follow their intended goal every day and achieve it. As you understand, being charming is not just luck. It's time to study the habits of charming people and use them to increase personal effectiveness.
It doesn't matter whether they are negotiating with a large client or ordering a drink from a waiter, charming people always do it politely and respectfully. They understand that it doesn't matter how well they behave towards a particular person — a positive impression will come to naught if he witnesses the mistreatment of someone else. Charming people treat others with respect because they are convinced that they are no better than others.
The golden rule — treat others the way you want to be treated — has a serious drawback: it comes from the assumption that all people want the same attitude. It ignores the fact that different people are motivated by different things. And if one likes public recognition, the other can't stand being the center of attention.
Platinum rule: Treat others the way they want to be treated.
Charming people are well versed in human nature. They adjust their behavior and communication style so that others feel comfortable with them.
There is no easier way to negate the interest of another than to start a conversation with meaningless chatter. When you try to find an approach to a person and start an empty small talk, your interlocutor immediately switches his brain to autopilot and definitely does not feel real sympathy for you.
Charming people, starting a conversation, try to find something deep even in insignificant things. Their genuine interest in people helps them to easily answer a good question and talk about what they consider important in different spheres of life.
Charming people have a genuine interest in those around them. As a result, they don't spend much time thinking about themselves. They don't bother their heads about whether they are good enough because they are too busy with other people. That's why it doesn't take much effort to charm them.
To make this habit work for you, put aside your smartphone and focus on the people around you. Pay attention to what they say and how they say it, not how you respond. When people tell you something about themselves, ask them leading questions to show your interest.
In conversation, charming people do not seek to occupy all the time with stories about how smart and successful they are. And not because they have nothing to brag about. It doesn't even occur to them, because they understand how repulsive people look who try to please everyone.
Charming people handle controversial and sensitive topics carefully, adhering to certain limits. They do not hide their opinion, but emphasize that this is opinion, and not the only true fact. Whether it's a discussion of global warming, politics, mandatory vaccinations or GMOs, charming interlocutors realize that many smart people may have a different point of view on this problem.
Charming people are what they are. None of them have to break their brains to make a plan of action and predict what needs to be done next. They do what they do because they understand that no one likes fakes.
People are attracted to real personalities because they can be trusted.
It's easier to push someone away until you know who they really are and what they feel.
People by their nature are a mirror of their interlocutors. If you want others to think you are charming, smile at them throughout the conversation, and they will unconsciously begin to feel positive emotions towards you.
Charming people understand that making efforts to show their best side is, in fact, the same as cleaning up the house before the arrival of friends is not vanity, but a manifestation of respect for others. But once they demonstrate their presentability, they stop remembering it.
Charming people are positive and caring. They never get bored, because for them life is an amazing adventure, and they are happy to accept people who want to be a part of it.
This does not mean that charming people have no problems. There are, and even big ones, but they perceive problems as temporary obstacles, and not as an inevitable evil. When something bad happens, charming people remind themselves that a bad day is just one day, and do not lose hope that tomorrow, next week, next month everything will change for the better.
Charming people don't have a fairy godmother who hovers over them all the time. But they have the ability to improve themselves in combination with several attractive qualities and habits that everyone can adopt.
They think more about others than about themselves, they make people feel attractive, respected and interesting. Remember the main thing: the more you focus on others, the more charming you look.
