This is a favorite commandment of various coaches. «In order to achieve a goal, you need to clearly imagine it in your thoughts, you need to fully feel it, you need to live and sleep with it in your head!».
Oh yes! You squeezed your eyes shut and clearly, to the last rivet, imagined your future yacht and home in the Caribbean. They were painted on a large poster and hung over the bed. And… and nothing happens. Day turns to day, and the yacht remains in my head, and the house in the photo. You quietly hate yourself and your miserable life.
This is because you have believed in the myth that life should be the way you want it to be, instead of accepting life as it is. There is nothing wrong with setting goals for the future and moving towards them. But your life is happening now. Find a way to enjoy it right now. You can't hate the present and postpone happiness for the future.
We are taught from all sides to be happy (yes, I know that in this article I am doing the same thing :). They are trying to convince us that happiness is a normal natural state of a person, and if you don't feel it, then something is clearly wrong with you.
The reality is that happiness is a rather fleeting feeling, like all emotions. We can feel contentment, peace of mind, but happiness in every person's life is a rather rare thing. I wish you to experience this wonderful feeling more often, but do not fall under the pressure of newfangled theories that without happiness your life becomes miserable.
This myth tells us that we must always progress. Forward and up, not a step back. If you ran five km in this workout, then you should run six in the next one. If you earned a thousand this month, then next month you need two nosebleeds. Meanwhile, this approach to life does not leave us a chance for error, illness or simple relaxation. The slightest failure from the ascending line is perceived as the collapse of life and makes us unhappy.
Try to replace the straight-line model of progress in your head with a spiral one. Very often, despite all efforts, we make a circle and find ourselves almost in the same place where we started. Don't get mad at yourself for this and start a new round.
If you need to solve a problem, then, of course, you must gather all your strength and overcome the obstacle that has arisen. A completely natural and correct approach, isn't it?
Stop. It's not that simple.
Sometimes confrontation only drains your energy and reduces your ability to solve problems effectively. There are situations when it is better to assess the situation, and not to push ahead against the circumstances. It's like crossing a river: you can swim it with the current, practically without expending any effort, or you can swim against the waves and heroically drown in the middle.
Confrontation is a very natural human reaction, but sometimes it is not the best solution. Learning to calmly accept the bad and the good in our lives is sometimes much wiser.
This is a very common internal setup that explains why you are not enjoying life right now. You're just missing something very important. This bright moment will come, that's when we will live!
«When I retire, my life will be much better». Excellent. A friend of mine retired and died a few months later. What a pity. Poor guy, he's been dreaming about this moment so much.
«My life will be calm and happy when I get more money." Maybe. How much more? Will you be able to calm down and stop, or will you stretch it «more» by an order of magnitude?
Do not postpone your life for later. Have fun right now. And when this mythical «then» comes, then you will get double pleasure :).
