But we do not always look back on the past with warm feelings. Sometimes we fail to leave all the bad things behind under the chimes. The pain of a difficult breakup or resentment due to dismissal passes with us into the next year, and New Year's wishes turn from personal goals that we pin our hopes on into a critical necessity.
If the end of the year causes you anxiety and fear, and the last 12 months have not been the best in your life, several strategies will help you look at the New Year in a different way.
Think about how you really want to spend New Year's Eve. In a luxury club with loud music and shiny confetti falling from the ceiling? Or perhaps in the company of family and friends at a table full of food? Or maybe alone at home, changing into pajamas and watching your favorite movie?
There is no right answer here, but try to be honest with yourself. You should not make the choice that others expect from you. And do not be afraid to deviate from what is accepted, or do something wrong, as usual. You can always create your own New Year traditions.
If you decide to refuse to invite friends to celebrate the New Year at a country house at a noisy party, stay with your partner and order pizza, try to make the conversation easy but honest. Of course, a lot depends on who you turn down and how close you are with these people. But respecting your personal boundaries also means that you understand what the reaction of others will be.
For example, if you have to explain yourself to someone who constantly ignores your feelings, you should prepare for the fact that he will begin to challenge your plans or the reasons for your refusal. Allow yourself to be frank about how you want to spend New Year's Eve, and do not tell in detail how bad the whole year has been for you if you do not consider it necessary.
Even if all the troubles that made last year disgusting continue to affect you next year, you still have something to say goodbye to. You can make a list of terrible things that have already happened to you and will definitely not happen again in the future.
For example, you went through a painful breakup, you had to move out from your partner, look for a new apartment and start living on your own for the first time in a long time. The pain is unlikely to subside before next year, but the fact of the breakup and the search for new housing will remain in the outgoing.
This may seem like a small consolation, but such trifles combined can result in something significant. If you don't like this approach, make a list of good things. Even if the year was difficult, there were some small victories or pleasant moments in it anyway.
You can also come up with a ritual that will help you leave all the unpleasant things behind and move forward with renewed vigor. For example, write a letter to the outgoing year and explain what made it so terrible, why you won't miss it and look forward to the next one, and then tear up or burn what you wrote. Or another option is to put small souvenirs related to last year in a shoe box and put it as far away as possible in the closet.
Even such banal, at first glance, rituals will help you feel relief and liberation. The main thing is not to perceive them as endless reflections on the troubles that you have experienced this year. This is an opportunity to say "Bye!" to them, even if you are still sad.
You can set yourself a goal of "getting twice as much" or formulate others, such as "having more fun" and "laughing a lot." They don't look specific and measurable, but that's the point: more vague thematic goals will save you from setbacks and disappointments.
Self—development is great, but not everything in life should revolve around it. Choose the topic of the year that you would like to focus on, and do not scold yourself for not doing something in time. In other words, try to avoid the temptation to engage in self-improvement, and instead figure out how to make your life more enjoyable.
And even if you are still halfway there. No matter how difficult the year has been, you've probably won a few victories that are worth celebrating. Therefore, instead of focusing on what did not work out, evaluate everything you have done and think about whether you want to continue what you started. This practice can be very inspiring, because it shows what you have already achieved and relieves the oppressive feeling that everything needs to be finished before the new year.
Perhaps you will realize that you have much more reason to be proud than you thought. You can't live a whole year without a single achievement. Even if some of them seemed insignificant at that moment, nothing prevents you from being glad that you replaced the oil in the car on time or finally canceled your subscription to the service that you used once.Let's say that in the past year there is absolutely nothing fun and worthy to celebrate, and the coming one is seen as negative and unpromising. This is also normal. But the first of January inevitably comes every year, which means that the nearest one is not the only chance to arrange a holiday.
Perhaps you will spend this New Year's Eve on the "bench". The ability to understand when it's time to quit the game is a sign of personal growth. If you don't want to watch fireworks now, open champagne and wait for the chimes to strike, that's okay. It's just that this year you're not ready to put your worries on pause for the sake of fun. But you have at least 365 days to change everything for the next one.
To believe that you can solve all your problems and start the new year without stress is a bit naive. And even if it seems to you that everyone around is having a great time, it's not necessarily true. It is possible that they want the same thing as you: to put all this New Year's fuss on pause and not worry about the holiday until next time.
If you are not ready to celebrate the New Year, allow yourself to relax and go to bed before 22:00. Time is a social construct, so there are no rules about when and what to celebrate. Perhaps by the middle of March you will feel better, and no one will forbid you to raise a glass of champagne at midnight to celebrate it. Your new year starts when you want it to. And this does not necessarily have to happen on the first of January.
